Less judgment, more love

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Let’s face it, women are always being judged. We’re judged on our level of education; whether we’re married, or not married; if we have kids or if we don’t have kids; whether we have a girl or a boy; if we’re stay at home moms, or working moms; if we’re overdressed or underdressed; if we’re too thin or too fat; if we follow the trend or if we stand out; if we express our emotions or if we hide them… and the judgments go on and on.

Frankly, we’re sick of it.

There’s no pleasing anyone in this world. Sometimes it’s hard enough trying to please the closest people to you, let alone trying to please society altogether. What’s really sad is that most of these judgments come from other women. This International Women’s Day, we heard a lot of talk about women’s empowerment. We believe that in order to truly support each other and stand up for one another, we have to start with letting go of judgments!

Judgments are interlaced in our thoughts somehow, and they stem so deep that we can’t even catch ourselves judging others, unless we’re saying them out loud. We believe the best way to overcome this is to become more empathetic. Empathy is a beautiful phenomenon. Once you start putting yourself in other people’s shoes, there’s no way you can judge them.

For instance, let’s take a divorced couple. Some might subconsciously judge this couple for not being able to make their marriage work. But we’re suggesting changing this negative thinking to a more empathetic thought pattern, such as: What would it take to get me to make such a decision? Probably a lot of suffering and unhappiness. This couple must have been suffering a lot to reach the decision to end their marriage. They probably need a lot of emotional support to get through this difficult time.  Suddenly your perspective changes, and you cease judgment in those moments.

What if a woman was to gain 20 pounds in a month? Instead of jumping to the conclusion that she can’t put the fork down, maybe consider what would cause someone to gain that much weight… maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s a condition that can only be treated with medication that causes weight gain, or maybe it’s an eating disorder… All these possibilities make you stop and reconsider your judgment.

As much as we take pride in trying to balance our job, blog, family, social life and alone time, we often get judged for seeking that balance. Had we made other choices, we would still be judged. That’s why we stand for the choices we’ve made, and brush off all judgment. And funny enough, we get judged for not caring about being judged. It’s an endless cycle, ladies.

Now there are lots of women who feel the same way we do and deflect judgment all the time. But for those women who feel imprisoned in other people’s views, we encourage you all to stop worrying about what other people think and follow your hearts. Make choices that give you the life you want and the happiness you deserve. 

We believe that with a little empathy, people would be more understanding and supportive rather than critical towards each other’s life decisions. Empathy brings people closer together, and helps spread peace and love. Empathy is what makes this world a better place.

Sincerely,

Sisi & Rara

 

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